The Hormone Hostage

 

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What’s for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate

 

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?

SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.


DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here’s my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn’t over-do it today.
SAFEST: I’ve always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more chocolate

abcde-choc.jpg

 13 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4 Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweet
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff

And my favourite one

13. Potential Murder Suspect


And remember: Money talks …. but Chocolate SINGS!!!

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6 Comments »

  1. 1

    Slightly random but some fun moments…
    GOD BLESS YOU LOTS
    Maria in the UK
    http://www.inhishands.co.uk

  2. 2
    thepocket Says:

    I Love it! I think this should be the handbook for the male species. Mmmm maybe I should e-mail it to my boyfriend.

  3. 3
    babybull40 Says:

    that was very funny and yet so true misslionheart… I have missed you lately.. with me being out sick.. but I’m back and feeling much better…

  4. 4

    I love it! Thanks for the lift. 🙂

  5. Hi,
    What you say is very true. But I am sure many men will be asking, “So what’s the difference for the rest of the month?!!”
    Sorry I havn’t got back to you before. Have been running around like a nutter. And yes I am still alive, but barely, (thanks for asking, no-one else has) Still all the grapes are now in and contentedly fermenting away or slumbering in oak barrels. Meanwhile my poor battered body is slowly recovering. Off on holiday shortly, thought we’d go to a wine village, (for a change), so are going to Beaujolais for the New Wine fête.
    à plus
    Brian

  6. 6
    misslionheart Says:

    What you say is very true. But I am sure many men will be asking, “So what’s the difference for the rest of the month?!!” Typical British male attitude!
    Enjoy your ‘Busmans Holiday’


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