Warning to all women

                                                                                                                        
 You may have read recently about the person whose kidneys were stolen  from him while he was passed out. Well, read on. Something like this  happened to me and countless other women.                                                    
                                                                                                                       
 My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone  else’s thighs. The new ones were the texture of lumpy porridge. Who  would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for  years?  

                                                                  
 Whose thighs were these and what had happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and those tights that pull everything in. Then, just when my guard was down the thieves struck again.                                                                           
                                                                                                                       
 My arse was next! I knew it was the same gang, because they took great  pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they had lumbered me with  earlier. I couldn’t believe it, my new arse was attached at least three inches lower than 
my original. Now, my backside complemented my thighs lump for lump. Frantically I prayed that long skirts would stay  in fashion.                                                                                                           
                                                                                                                       
 Last year I realised my arms had been switched.. One morning I was brushing my hair when I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was getting really scary. My body was being replaced one section at a  time. How clever and fiendish. I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair I have given up short sleeved t-shirts.                                                   
                                                                                                                       
 Last month my neck disappeared faster than the Christmas turkey, which it now resembled.                              
                                                                                                                       
 I can’t take on the medical profession by myself. WOMEN OF THE WORLD WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE! That really isn’t plastic those surgeons you  are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don’t you?                                      
                                                                                                                       
 The next time you suspect someone has had a face ‘lifted’ look again. Was it ‘lifted’ from you? I think I finally found my thighs and I hope Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!!                                         
                                                                                                                       
 THIS IS NOT A HOAX. THIS IS HAPPENING TO WOMEN IN YOUR TOWN EVERY  NIGHT.                                             
 WARN YOUR FRIENDS!                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                       
 P..S. How paranoid am I ? Last night I thought someone had stolen my  breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! 
 As I jumped out of bed  I was relieved to find that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I am      
 keeping them safely tucked into my waistband!
    

 

 

 

 

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6 Comments »

  1. 1

    Oh, my arse was the first to go!

  2. 2
    Jan Says:

    I’ve been suspicious about this very thing. I’m so glad I’m not alone. As for those recipents of plasitic surgery – everything looked better on the original owners, thank you very much.

  3. 3
    Michelle Says:

    that was hilarious – thanks for the laugh!

  4. 4
    Pamela Says:

    It’s gotten so bad that this morning I had to introduce myself to my husband of 32 years

  5. 5

    I followed the link from Jan’s and am delighted I did so. Now I know what’s wrong with me ;–)
    Hugs and blessings,

  6. 6
    Debs Buzz Says:

    This is a riot. I love it!


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