Archive for the ‘Golf’ Category

Over here, golfers!

January 18, 2007

Dave works hard at the office and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday.His wife thinks he’s pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday, she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin?”

His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. “Oh no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team.”

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, “How did she know that you drink Budweiser?”

“I recognize her, she’s the waitress from the golf club. I always have a bud at the end of the first nine, honey.”

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, starts to rub herself all over him and says, “Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?”

Dave’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Dave tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4-letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says, “Geez Dave, you picked up a real bitch this time.”

Advertisements

OH, BALLS!

September 21, 2006

                    golf-ball.jpg

 I have a ticket and pass for The Ryder Cup today. My husband was invited first, but has no interest in golf! So, he handed it to me and said, “Go!”. What he neglected to remember, was the children…. 

  I have my ‘Adopted’ one from 8.15am until 5.50pm, not mention the school runs later! Then, Drama class followed by Irish Dancing…..

  Is he doing this on purpose to torture me?”  I ask myself.

 The event is being held at the K Club in Straffan which is 15 minutes from my house. I am not a golf fan by any means, but these tickets are gold dust, they really are. This ticket is a ‘Full Corporate Package’, which means, Champagne all day, Morning Coffee with Danish pastries and muffins, a five-course silver service lunch with a selection of wines. Complimentary bar and Gourmet Afternoon Tea. So, whatever the outcome of the tournament, the experience alone will be very memorable.

 However, it’s not to be. So I will keep the ticket and I.P. for prosperity.

                     Mint!