Archive for the ‘Irish Jokes’ Category

On a lighter note….

November 28, 2007

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”

The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves.

Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?” asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”

The Irishman replies, “Oh… I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.”

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These will make you smile!

February 9, 2007

   Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?”  The man said, “I do, Father.”  The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.” 

  Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to go to heaven?”  “Certainly, Father,” was the man’s reply. “Then stand over there against the wall,” said the priest. 

  Then Father Murphy walked up to O’Toole and said, “Do you want to go to heaven?”  O’Toole said, “No, I don’t Father.” 

  The priest said, “I don’t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don’t want to go to heaven?”  

  O’Toole said, “Oh, when I die, yes.  I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.”

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died.  He quickly phoned his best friend, Finny.  “Did you see the paper?” asked Gallagher,  “they say I died!”  “Yes, I saw it!” replied Finny, “where are ye callin’ from?”

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.  The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.  He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?”  “Just water,” says the priest.  The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?” The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”