The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, “I’ve found a man just like father!” Her mother replied, “So what do you want from me, sympathy?”
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”.
Q: How can you tell the married men at a wedding reception?
A: They’re the ones dancing with everyone but their wives.
Q: What is a wedding tragedy?
A: To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money.
Q: How do I make my wife stop buying all these gloves?
A: Buy her a diamond ring.
“My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.”
Q: How do most men define marriage?
A: A very expensive way to getting their laundry done free.
Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
First guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful
These are great, I ‘m sending these to my hubby he’ll appreciate the laugh 🙂
A very witty Wednesday!
When the Father of This Lot is feeling particularly witty, he says:
‘Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener.’
Oh I can’t wait to read those to Mr. Schmitty…he’ll love ’em!
What an adorable picture. I love it.
This are very funny! As much as I enjoy jokes like this though, I do love my husband dearly.